Issues

A few years ago I went through a nasty break up that rocked my trust in others especially men for a long time.
My now ex boyfriend lied and cheated on me. I found out later he was simply using me for one thing: sex.
All the sprew about loving me and wanting to spend the rest of his life with me turned out to be nothing but bullshit.
I admit I was way too young to be in any kind of serious relationship and completely nieve at the time. I had gone through a depression several years before and this was the first guy that show any interest in me. I poured my heart out to him, big mistake. A friend of his told me later after we broke up that he had basically laughed to them about what I told him. When I found out he was cheating I of course confronted him and he procreeded to tell me some story about how it wasn't true and that this girl was jealous and wanted to cause trouble. I wanted to believe him but somehow I just knew he was lying. He told me so many lies that I don't think he knew what the truth was anymore.
I defied my parents to date this guy and he turns around and stabs me in the back. All of a sudden I was back to my depression days. I felt useless. I was angry, sad, and hurt most of all. I had alot of emotions running through me and I just didn't know how deal with any of them. I think for awhile I was in denial. I couldn't believe that this had happened to me. I trusted this guy and in my mind I loved him. It took me a year to get over it but I did. I had support from family and friends who all said I was better off. They got me through a really tough year.I really believe that I deserve better now and I won't settle for less. I still have trust issues to this day but it's better than what it was. I've discovered not all men are scum and that there really are some nice guys out there. It wasn't easy but I think I am finally okay.
I'm older and more mature now and I realize now that I was in love with who I thought he was not who he really was.
I was young and stupid and I let some guy manipulate me when I was at a vulnerable state. I don't really talk about this much because I've put it behind me and I want it to stay where it belongs in the past.But I wanted to share this story and just have it out there. Although I will say I did have moments and sometimes still do that I could change the what happened but I can't. The only thing I can do is learn from it and move on. We've all had our hearts broken
at somepoint in our lives so I'm sure this isn't the first heartbroken story you're read and it probably won't be that last.

~Jamie~