Stressed?

You know you're stressed when...
1.Someone pays you a compliment and you take it as an insult.
2. Your boyfriend or girlfriend or spouse offers to cook dinner and you think they're insulting your cooking.
3. You pick a fight just for the sake of fighting.
4. Your partner offers to take the kids out to dinner ALONE.
5. Your watching your favorite show and suddenly find your self yelling at the TV.
6. You start cleaning your already clean house.
7. You start worrying over the simplest of things.
8. You overhear a comment about someone and immediatly personalize it.
9. You turn into a crazed maniac over someone being just under 5mins late.
10. You find yourself creating more stress trying to get out of being stressed.

Issues

A few years ago I went through a nasty break up that rocked my trust in others especially men for a long time.
My now ex boyfriend lied and cheated on me. I found out later he was simply using me for one thing: sex.
All the sprew about loving me and wanting to spend the rest of his life with me turned out to be nothing but bullshit.
I admit I was way too young to be in any kind of serious relationship and completely nieve at the time. I had gone through a depression several years before and this was the first guy that show any interest in me. I poured my heart out to him, big mistake. A friend of his told me later after we broke up that he had basically laughed to them about what I told him. When I found out he was cheating I of course confronted him and he procreeded to tell me some story about how it wasn't true and that this girl was jealous and wanted to cause trouble. I wanted to believe him but somehow I just knew he was lying. He told me so many lies that I don't think he knew what the truth was anymore.
I defied my parents to date this guy and he turns around and stabs me in the back. All of a sudden I was back to my depression days. I felt useless. I was angry, sad, and hurt most of all. I had alot of emotions running through me and I just didn't know how deal with any of them. I think for awhile I was in denial. I couldn't believe that this had happened to me. I trusted this guy and in my mind I loved him. It took me a year to get over it but I did. I had support from family and friends who all said I was better off. They got me through a really tough year.I really believe that I deserve better now and I won't settle for less. I still have trust issues to this day but it's better than what it was. I've discovered not all men are scum and that there really are some nice guys out there. It wasn't easy but I think I am finally okay.
I'm older and more mature now and I realize now that I was in love with who I thought he was not who he really was.
I was young and stupid and I let some guy manipulate me when I was at a vulnerable state. I don't really talk about this much because I've put it behind me and I want it to stay where it belongs in the past.But I wanted to share this story and just have it out there. Although I will say I did have moments and sometimes still do that I could change the what happened but I can't. The only thing I can do is learn from it and move on. We've all had our hearts broken
at somepoint in our lives so I'm sure this isn't the first heartbroken story you're read and it probably won't be that last.

~Jamie~

Music

When I first heard of this whole blog thing I have to admit I thought it was a little crazy but now I really like the idea.
It's like having an open journal where I can voice my opinion on just about anything. I recently purchased a CD called "Music for elevators". I know what you're all thinking why would anyone buy a cd with that title. I mean we all know elevator music is chessy stuff. The album is by Anthony Steward Head ( ex-Giles on Buffy The Vampire Slayer) and I just have to say that british men have the sexiest voice I have ever heard especially this guy. He was also on the male version of sex and the city in britian called "Manchild". I think he has a really good voice that just makes me melt and it doesn't hurt that he's gorgeous. Maybe it's the accent. I just love british accents.

~Jamie~

Book Review

Late last year I read a book called "Dead on the Dance Floor" by Heather Graham. It's a romance/murder mystery novel. It's about this accomplished dancer Lara Trudeau who literaly drops dead while performing in a competition of what appears to a heart attack brought on by an overdose of booze and pills. But Miami cop Doug O'Casey suspects it was murder. He talks his brother Quinn, who used to a private investigator, to go undercover to see what's going on.
Quinn dicovers everyone at Lara's dance studio "Moonlight Sonata" had more than hated Lara and anyone there may or may not have had a reason to see her gone. According to them Lara may have been a talented dancer but she was ruthless and didn't give a damm about anyone but herself.
He soon discovers a string of deaths do to overdoses in Miami. All of them women and when the owner of the dance studio becomes a target Quinn must protect her at all costs.
What I loved about the book was you were never sure who the killer really was. Graham throws in some twists along the way and just when you think you have it all figured out another twist comes around. I won't give away the ending but I will say this. The killer is one you won't suspect.
~Jamie

Don't Walk Away

This is a rough draft of a song I'm writing. It's called "Don't Walk Away". It's still in it's rough stages so bear with me. ~Jamie~

You say I only tell you what I want to
You say I omit the truth
You say you wanna leave
You say everything is too much

You think the problems are too much
they can't be solved
you want to leave rather work it out
that's your solution


But I'm here to tell you
Don't walk away
don't throw our love away
don't make this mistake
baby please don't walk away

I won't beg you to stay
I simply asking
Give it a chance
I know we can do this


Don't walk away
don't throw love away
don't make this mistake
baby please don't walk away

choices

Choices. We all make them. Ever wonder if some of the choices you made were right or wrong? Or if a choice you made that may have seemed insignificant at the time turned out to be life changing in more ways than one.Ever wonder if things would have turned out differently if you had made another choice? The choices we make may seem not important at the time but what if they were?
The reason I bring this up is i'm reading this book called "Choices" by Nancy Toder. It's about these two women who are college roomates, best friends and lovers. They embark on a romance and years later meet up by accident.
Both begin question choices they've made through out there lives and wonder if their relationship was just a crush
or if was more and can they rekindle it? The book is about more than just discovering you could be gay. It's about self discovery and it tells the story of two people dealing with their relationship. And it anwsers the question "Can you ever really forget your first love?".

Jamie

getting inside me

Everyone's heard of the saying "don't sweat the small stuff". They've even written a book with that title.
i get that you shouldn't but why the hell can't you sweat the small stuff everyonce in a while.
i get there are so many other things to worry about now so why would anyone want to worry about the small insignificant stuff. Cause if ya don't sometimes the so called "small stuff" can turn into the "big stuff". kinda like making a mountain out of a moll hill. i'll stop with the dumb analogies now. but seriously why shouldn't we worry over some small things if we want to.
life is about more than just the big stuff it's about the little insignificant stuff too. so i guess the whole point of of my random babble is sweat the small stuff if you want. just remember it's small so don't make it bigger than it needs to be but still worry about it if ya want.

jamie